There are many different myths out there concerning the ways that divorce can affect children. While it stands true that divorce can be incredibly painful for them, it isn’t always entirely negative for them, as long as you put your children first.
Not every situation is always the same. Many people allow myths to determine how they believe a situation will play out. However, not everything you hear about how divorce affects children is accurate. Take a look at some of the most common misconceptions about divorce and kids.
Myth #1 Kids Will Be Traumatized
Saying goodbye to the family unit as it once was isn’t easy on anyone, whether you’re a child or an adult. It can be unsettling to accept that things will never be the way that they once were. However, in some cases, divorce can lead to less trauma for a child.
If a couple is constantly fighting, it can have a negative impact on the child’s behavior for the rest of their life. However, when the tension no longer exists in the home, children will be more relaxed, and their behavior will usually be much more peaceful.
In some cases, divorce is the only solution for two people that cannot see eye to eye. Divorce can often make two people who were once unhappy together suddenly content again when outside of the relationship. When a child sees their parents happy and relaxed, their demeanor usually follows.
Children do better when they have happy parents. They benefit much more from two happy parents living separately than two unhappy parents living together.
Myth #2 Shared Custody Is Damaging
Many parents argue that it is too disruptive for a child to live with both parents for an equal amount of time. However, statistics show that shared custody allows each parent to continue their relationship with the child much more effectively.
Yet, the only way that shared custody can work is if both parents are able to cooperate and communicate with each other. It of course varies with the circumstances, but if both parties are amicable and there is a competent attorney from a divorce law firm Schaumburg (or elsewhere) handling the process, there is no reason why there shouldn’t be a healthy division of custody that can be arrived at eventually.
With enough cooperation and patience, you may even find that you become friends over the years with your ex. Your children will appreciate you much more if you are able to be the best version of yourself rather than an unhappy one trapped in a loveless marriage.
Myth #3 Children Won’t Imitate Your Relationship Patterns
Children are tiny sponges. They are constantly learning and imitating the world around them. If you provide them with a relationship model that is dysfunctional, they are destined to mirror that behavior later in their adult lives.
Don’t believe that you should stay in an unhappy relationship only for the children. The only thing that you will be showing them is dysfunction.
Show your children a happier and healthier version of yourself rather than one that allows yourself to be a victim.
