3 Tips For Helping Your Children Adjust To A Stepparent

After a getting divorced and meeting someone new, you’re likely excited about the prospect of falling in love again.  It’s only a matter of time until you go from a divorced single parent to engaged and looking for wedding venues.  

The promise of a fresh start and a new beginning is incredibly promising.  Not everyone may be as excited as you, however. It’s common for your children from your previous relationship to feel anxious and angry.  They may not be ready to have a new parent step in and steal your attention. They may feel bitter or even depressed. Feelings can vary depending on the unique set of circumstances.  

Kids need help processing their feelings, so it’s crucial that you know how to guide them in adjusting to their new life.  If you’re about to get remarried with a new partner and you’ve got a child that’s in the middle, here are some of the best tips to make it easier on all of you.

Don’t Force a Relationship

Even though you may be anxious for everyone to get along, it’s important to let things evolve organically.  Trying to push your child and new partner into being close may backfire.

Despite your best intentions, trying to create a relationship that doesn’t exist yet will usually have an adverse effect.  Your child may resent your partner, and your partner may start to resent your child because they feel rejected.

Therefore, it’s usually advised to let things happen naturally and in its own time.

Create Household Rules

One of the best ways to show your child that they still have security and stability is to create a clear set of guidelines for everyone in the house to follow.  The rules aren’t there to make anyone’s life difficult, but instead to make sure that there is no grey area when it comes to what’s allowed and what’s not.

Make sure that everyone is following the rules including you.  Enforcing the rules on your child yet letting them slide for yourself will only create a distance between you and your kids.

Cooperate With Ex

Although things may not always be ideal between you and your ex, it’s important to cooperate with each other for the good of your children.

In addition to making things easier for your kids, it will also help your new partner.  Try to reach an agreement as adults about what everyone feels comfortable with.

With enough communication and mutual respect between each other, you’ll be able to find a calm and promising solution which works for everyone.  Ultimately it’s up to the adults to come together and be peaceful so that the children don’t have to suffer.