It happens. Divorce, that is. Sometimes, mommies and daddies just can’t seem to work out their differences and sometimes, the issues at hand can be extremely volatile. Children are never at fault for anything that goes awry in a marriage and should never be made to feel that any of the blame is theirs. When making your way through the journey of divorce and the ensuing custody battle, it is vital that things, preferably all the time, but at least in front of any children involved, be civil and handled with maturity. Here are some tips that should make things go a little smoother.
Even though you and your wife could not find a way to maintain your marriage, find a way, if possible, to remain friends. Now this doesn’t mean that you invite her and her lawyer over for dinner to discuss the details of custody. However, there is absolutely no reason you can’t find some time to hang out and try a relationship of a lesser caliber. This not only will help both of you to heal the hurts of divorce, but will give your children a great example of how to mend relationships, forgive one another, and of how to get back up and try again when life knocks you down.
Don’t Argue in Front of The Children
If a friendship is not salvageable, there are things you need to work on in front of the kids. Never argue with your ex-wife in front of them. If you have a disagreement, go somewhere private and discuss any issues you have with her. Fighting in the sight of your kids only teaches them this is an appropriate behavior and often is a great source of stress and anxiety for them. They are already dealing with the separation and loss of a parent. Do not add to their worries by having open conflict in their presence.
Back Each Other Up
You and your, now ex-wife, will more than likely, never again be the parenting team you might have been at one time, but your children still need you and her to act in unity when it comes to raising them. Children feel safe when both parents are in agreement on the things that affect their life most such as discipline, extra curricular activities, and school. Back each other up. Most of the time, you will make most of the daily decisions concerning your children, but never allow room for your children to play one parent against the other. This creates stress for all parties involved and can make for some very rebellious teenagers on down the road.
Your children are precious to you and your wife. Regardless of the feelings you no longer have for one another, they still need 100% from both parents. Refer to these tips often and give your children the stability they need and long for, even in a custody battle.